Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Plot Sickens: Free Write and Reflection

Free Write:
It was Christmas Eve. Fog stuck to the tarmac at Lindbergh field. Rebecca turned to her mom who just looked at her dissapointed and she turned away.Rebecca stared out the window and thought back to a time where she was the happiest she'd ever been...
 The breeze was light and it made the grass sway. There were no clouds in sight and Rebecca wasn't to pleased with that. She was already burnt to death because of the sun from yesterday. There was a row of targets at the end of a field and the flags that were stuck in the top of them fluttered in the breeze. The birds were chirping and it seemed like the perfect day to shoot. This tournament really mattered to Rebecca. She couldn't make the Junior Dream Team if she didn't place well, like in the top 10 well. She was quite nervous because her last big tournament hadn't gone so well. That was 2 months ago though. She had had tons more practice since then and was ready and raring to go this time. She couldn't stand not shooting any longer. With every second that ticked by she was getting more and more anxious. When finally the judges voice came through the speakers she was relieved. This meant she would finally get to shoot soon. When she got up to line and nocked her first arrow the wind immediately stopped and everything was still. It was like it was meant to be because that day Rebecca shot a personal best and placed 5th. Later that year during Junior Dream Team tryouts she was first female pick to join the team. Nothing made her happier than that.

In Fanny Howe's The Plot Sickens, she talks about how most of the creative writing that young writers are producing has an unhappy ending. I don't believe this a bad thing however. I believe it's good that young writers have the courage to break the mold and set a new trend of what they think a story should look like. Like our parents always tell us, be you and don't let anything or anyone stop you. My Free Write has the always predicted happy ending. The ending most people expect at the end of a story. But should it be expected to have a happy ending? In my opinion it shouldn't not everyone has a happy ending. And now with the economy being as it is and people being layed of and being pressed for money, having to move and change their way of life, more people have an unhappy ending. It's unfortunate but unfortunately it's just the way the world works.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Self Deprecation

The Girl That Could
February 18, 19, and 20th. 2014 Indoor Nationals. 528 shooters, 63,360 arrows shot. That’s 63,360 chances to mess something up. I only have 120 chances to get it right. But these 120 chances can be the difference between making the national team or not. It may not seem like a big deal, but in my world, it’s everything.
            Weeks before nationals I would stress out and think of all the things I could do wrong. I practiced at least 18 hours a week if not more. 6 days a week, 3 hours a day at the range. 120 arrows each day. I had the same amount of chances to screw everything up in practice as I did in actual competition, but somehow it was different. It’s like practice didn’t matter to me, all I cared about was Nationals.
            Every tournament I went to I would get better and better. But this scared me even more. I pressured myself because I thought it could end at any minute. I was thinking of all the ways I could screw up. I was thinking of all the ways I would screw up.
When I got to Indoor Nationals on Friday I was immediately scared and everything I had been thinking about the past couple of weeks came rushing into my head. There were so many archers. More than 75% of which had years more experience than I did. How could I possibly expect to shoot well or even place. Later on I would realize that it didn’t really matter that year how I placed it only mattered how I grew as an archer. And I did. I scored two personal bests at nationals and just continued to grow throughout the year. Now I find myself worrying about some of the same things I was last year. With Nationals just 1 day away I am so scared. I start questioning my abilities and second guessing everything I have worked on this whole year. I know in my heart that I should be ready for this and that I know this year I actually have a good chance of placing in the top 10 but something still has me worried. Like it just won’t be good enough.
The final results had come in and I didn’t shoot as well as I could have but I still came in first for Nationals and JOAD Nationals for the East Region. Beating my competition by more than 20 points which is amazing.
Now I realize that I may have some issues but I just need to keep working on them. I can’t let them get the best of me. I also realize that maybe I’m a little too hard on myself. Sometimes it pushes me to do great things because I only expect the best and nothing else is acceptable. But it can be a bad thing at the same time. I get too worked up about the small things that in the long run don’t matter as much.